Nine. Nine. Nine.

This is exactly the type of thing I normally avoid sitting down to ever write.

I’ve written 1000s of emails, posts, and articles at this point.

But not on stuff like this.

The usual demons pop up...

Nobody will care.

I don't want to share that it's too personal.

Let's just get back to business.

I don't know how to wrap it up with a 'point' to it.

But my vision for this newsletter is that it is different.

It's the story beyond just the business, the sales etc

So despite my brain telling me to get up & walk away as I type this...

I'm pressing on.

And following my heart & gut that tells me to write it, send it & let the story just 'be' because someone might need to read it today.

In September last year my Grandad passed away.

We were very close.

He lived just a few streets from me.

He very heavily influenced my career of going into finance & then becoming an Entrepreneur.

And most importantly we shared the deepest bond around our beloved Western Bulldogs Football Team.

When he passed I felt numb but as a Dad to 2 young boys I kind of pressed on.

A few months later we had to do the painful task of emptying his apartment.

I took the opportunity to film a video​ to remember him, knowing I likely wouldn't be back inside any time soon & even if I was it would never feel the same again.

Looking back now over a year on?

I didn't give myself time to process it.

I suppressed it.

This was a big part of me hitting an energetic & emotional wall in Q2 this year (on top of a bunch of other shit that happened with people in my family getting sick).

I got to a point where I couldn't work.

I'd stare a blank screen.

So we packed up & head to Asia for 4 months. I've shared a bunch on this recently online.

But what I haven't shared is what happened in the lead up to us moving, and while I was away that shocked me to my core.

Now I'm not a religious person, I've just never been down that path (despite it being part of my education at school).

Honestly I don't really know what I believe.

I know I believe in Energy & we can feel shit that we can't see.

But beyond that I don't really know (who does right?).

So when this stuff started to happen?

Safe to say it hit me in the chest, and I still think about it daily.

There were 4 instances that I feel 99% certain was my Grandad trying to reach me.

Or at least checking in us.

The first happened while we were packing up our apartment to head to Asia.

We had this big white wooden buffet / cabinet in the living room & on it sat a photo of him from when he was my age along with a bracelet & necklace I never saw him without.

It had been there since he passed.

One night I’m sitting on the ground with my Son, Hendrick, getting his into his PJs to go to bed & I see him look over my shoulder towards the buffet exactly where that stuff was.

Now we’re on the ground so he can’t see what’s on it.

And his face goes white & his body motionless.

I’ve never seen it before.

He buried his face into my chest & didn’t move for nearly 30 minutes.

Not crying.

Not screaming.

He just didn’t want to look up.

Eventually Liana & I got him to open his eyes and he was very sheepish.

A little bit later we asked him what had happened & pointing to the photo on the cabinet he said ‘I saw that man’

Safe to say that left me a bit shook.

But I like to think that was him seeing us off on our trip.

Then the next week, while we were still getting sorted to go…

Things went up a notch.

First I was at dinner at my parents house with my Sister & we’re at the dining table just eating & chatting.

Now they live in a 2 story house & the dining table is next to the staircase & kind of under the main hall that runs upstairs in the house.

Someone mentioned Pop's name (I can’t remember who) when all of a sudden, upstairs..

Bang, bang, bang, bang.

Clear as day to my ears footsteps down the hallway up stairs.

As if one of us was walking up there.

I looked at Dad and could tell from his face he had heard it.

My Sister & Mum didn’t.

But it was the split second his name was mentioned.

🤷‍♂️ who knows, but another strange one.

It gets weirder though…

Later that same week I was home on my own just sitting on the couch working on my laptop.

We have this toy phone that he bought for Hendrick when he was hardly 1 year old.

It made different sounds, and said the numbers when you pushed them etc etc.

Hendrick loved it & then when August came along, he did too, so it was always laying around with their toys in the living room.

One day I’m at home on my own, that phone is sitting on the ground with nothing around it, nothing near it.

And it starts ringing out of the blue.

You need to push the buttons for it to ring, worth noting.

I look over at it from the couch.

A bit like urghh, that’s weird.

But I wasn’t ready for what happened next.

A little context first:

My Grandad’s go to number was 9.

And whenever he picked a phone number, he would get the one with as many 9s in it as possible.

For as long as I can remember his landline & his cellphone both had 999 as part of the number sequence.

So as I’m sat on the couch looking over at this phone that has just started ringing out of nowhere, with nobody touching it…

It says ‘Hello’ in the programmed voice.

Then:

Nine.

Nine.

Nine.

Then silence.

And that was that.

I’m getting shivers & tingles as I write this.

It left me unable to move from my seat for a good few minutes.

Worth noting it happened again later that week when Liana was at home on her own & I was out with the boys.

Same situation, nothing touching the phone.

I’ll let you make of it what you will, but I can’t unhear that ‘Nine. Nine. Nine’

You can probably see why this has been on my mind?

But then 1 final thing happened in Bali that blew me away.

One morning after dropping Hendrick off for his morning at school I had called my Dad back in Aus & spoken to him.

This was around the 1 year anniversary of Pop’s passing, a few days before or after.

And he was telling me that he had repotted the Rose that he bought for my Mum when Pop had passed away (he did the same when her Mum passed).

Later that day after picking Hendrick up we stopped for lunch at a Japanese Restaurant he fell in love with in Bali.

We sat in our usual spot.

He smashed his Bento Box (and ice cream).

And just after we’ve paid & we go to walk out the door.

Hendrick points behind the counter & goes:

“What Flowers that Dadda”

I look up to see a vase of Roses sitting on the counter.

Now we had been to this place more times than I could count & they never had roses.

We went back again a few times, never again did they have them.

And I don’t know much about flowers but to me Roses in a Japanese restaurant seem a bit random.

I said ‘they’re Roses buddy’ to him (while remembering my chat with Dad at the same time).

And out of the blue the lady at the counter goes, would you like to take one to Hendrick?

He said yes…

And off he went with a fresh Rose.

He was happy.

I was feeling like my Pop was sitting next to us on the Scooter as we rode home.

Now could all these be explained away as a coincidence for difference reasons individually?

Maybe.

But the specificity & the timing make it very hard for me to think he’s not looking down & reaching out a hand to say ‘Hey mate, I’m here.'

Losing him hit me hard.

I couldn’t keep walking back & forth past his place every day, that’s part of why we had to mix up our location too that I didn’t share before.

But in these little moments?

I felt like he was right back with me.

And I carry those with me daily now.

If you’ve read this far, I appreciate you sticking with me on this one.

This has been on my mind a lot lately & I can say it has helped to put pen to paper (finger to keyboard?)

If you’ve recently been through something like this or are going through it now, I send my love wherever you are.

It’s never easy but it does remind us that we must enjoy every moment we have here & not waste it.

My Pop loved every day until he left us at 94 & he was an inspiration for enjoying the simple things in life.

I’ll keep carving my path with him in mind & lean on these moments knowing he’s looking down watching & pushing me to keep going when it gets tough.

Thanks for giving me the space to share.

Until next time,

JC